4-12-12\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The prompt:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Trivia: The average number of people airborne\u00a0over the US at any given hour:\u00a0 61,000<\/p>\n
30-minute writing, fiction<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
61,000 made it to heaven before me.\u00a0 Damn them.\u00a0\u00a0 Is that what frequent flyer miles are good for?\u00a0 To get to see St. Peter before the earth-bound rabble?\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to be patient; God knows I try.\u00a0 So why doesn\u2019t he let me skip the queue and sit right down next to him and Jesus?\u00a0 I don\u2019t even know Saint Peter.\u00a0 What would I say to him?\u00a0 61,000 in the grand scheme of things may not sound like much.\u00a0 Here at the time of the Rapture, I believe the population of the world stood at 6 billion.\u00a0 So that\u2019s like .00001 % of all of us get a golden ticket. And those lucky sods decided to go see Grandma on holiday at just that minute.<\/p>\n
Wait.\u00a0 That\u2019s over the US.\u00a0 What about all of the people in planes all over the world?\u00a0 But that doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 If you\u2019re a true-blue American, you know that heaven is hovering right above Kansas at all times.\u00a0 It couldn\u2019t be over Azerbaijan!\u00a0 The heathens.\u00a0 They can stay at the end of the line.\u00a0 Wait again!\u00a0 They have their own line!\u00a0 There\u2019s no way that they would get into the same heaven as me.\u00a0 If they all get 72 virgins and all I get are a robe and a harp, that\u2019s not fair.\u00a0 There must be another heaven for Azerbaijanis.\u00a0 And Russians.\u00a0 They have Easter at a different time!\u00a0 I\u2019ll bet there were some Russians and Azerbaijanis in amongst those 61,000 lucky ones.\u00a0 I hope their heaven is all the way over on the other side of the planet.\u00a0 They\u2019ll be last in line! And suddenly my line isn\u2019t so long after all.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s only 55,000.<\/p>\n
The bastards.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll just get a peek at the fella ahead of me.\u00a0 \u201cOops, sorry, ma\u2019am.\u00a0\u00a0 If I may, could you tell me where you were when all of this fuss started?\u00a0 Des Moines?\u00a0 I suppose that makes sense.\u00a0 You\u2019re closer to Kansas than West Virginia is.\u00a0 I just figured that I\u2019d be around folks from my jobsite, you know.\u00a0 Like we\u2019d all stick together.\u00a0 I guess some of them weren\u2019t as good as me, and got held up a bit.\u00a0 I guess sending Dan out for the beer might have delayed his arrival in heaven a bit.\u00a0 Unless Saint Peter is a drinking man.\u00a0 I\u2019d hate to think that Dan could get in a bit before me.\u00a0 What if I get up there and he\u2019s sitting at Saint Peter\u2019s right hand, sharing my beer?\u00a0 Does that have the same import as God\u2019s right hand?\u00a0 But that\u2019s reserved for Jesus anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n
It sure would be nice if there were a billion Saint Peters.\u00a0 Then all the frequent flier bastards would zip right through and not hold it up for us decent folk.<\/p>\n
Is the line moving?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
4-12-12\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The prompt:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Trivia: The average number of people airborne\u00a0over the US at any given hour:\u00a0 61,000 30-minute writing, fiction 61,000 made it to heaven before me.\u00a0 Damn them.\u00a0\u00a0 Is that what frequent flyer miles are good for?\u00a0 To get to see St. Peter before the earth-bound rabble?\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to be patient; God […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-101","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-promptedwriting"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=101"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":103,"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101\/revisions\/103"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mainlyprompts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}